Pause for Thought

I would like to start this “pause for thought” by saying that the month of December brings lots of different emotions - some people find the whole build up to the holiday experience one of joy, fun and a time to connect with others, and some people find it a more challenging time of year, sadness, stress and anxiety - so although I would like to wish you all a healthy and happy holiday period I never assume that this time is easy, especially for children who might be living away from their family.

For me, this time of year is one of reflection, of what the last 12 months have brought me. It always feels easier to recall the challenges, the disruptions, the difficult moments rather than the times where I have been truly grateful, had lovely feedback or complimented myself on something that I think went well. 

I often talk within my training about “future perfect” and “what will be happening when things are better”; this is a good way to start reflective practice. In knowing where we want to get to, in what our vision is for the future, or at least within the 12 months ahead, helps us to focus our thinking and planning on “how we get there”, what the end result looks like and working backwards, with quarterly reviews of our progress.

Without being strict with ourselves about the review process, we are not creating “deadlines” for progress, and the urgent will always take precedence over the important. So in everything we do, whether we are a practitioner with oversight of practice or a manager with oversight of strategic planning, without timelines, clear review dates - in comes “drift”.

At first, a day or two seems okay for not reviewing or completing tasks we set, but this soon becomes further down our “to-do list”, and we start to deviate from our planning, our goals. Along with this comes the feeling of being overwhelmed, or panic about things we have not done, inevitably leading to stress, anxiety and becoming an “over-thinker”. I believe most of us “like to be liked”, however, I had to learn in good decision making and the tough job of being a manager who had “a right to manage” that it's better to be respected, for being clear, transparent and sharing the vision and doing things with people and not to them.

Do we allow ourselves to be distracted? Does this contribute to our lack of completing what we set out to achieve? Often unforeseen events, pushes to work in a crisis way, to fix the things that seem more important. But I challenge you to ask yourself when we set goals, “are they misaligned?", Are you sailing the ship alone, have you shared your vision with those that can steady the ship, do you believe you are the only person to complete the journey ahead, and do your objectives align with the broader practice and strategic objectives? 

Fatigue, distraction and putting things off often are accompanied by our lack of true planning, of giving ourselves protected time to “pause”, “think”, and “plan” - as we have no time for this, right?

As my own work quietens a little at this time of year, it feels a good time to bring in those early new year resolutions of being more reflective, of being kinder to myself within those working hours, to promise myself to work SMARTER and to plan for a new year. This brings me new optimism, to consider new things, to continue to respond to the changing and difficult sector we work within. I read an interesting statement recently…

“Social work doesn’t change society; society changes social work." 

Things are always evolving, bringing new challenges to our own thought process, our values, our unconscious bias, our thresholds, and our willingness to take risks. I have learned over the years that without taking risks and learning to respond to need, my own and that of others, that I would never have experienced what I have, the highs, the lows and how all of it has resulted in “the now”.

I continue to see the level of sharing experience, knowledge and being supportive of one another in the training that I offer, it's such a pleasure to bring people together to spend a short time “connecting” and sharing. I hope you will join me in 2026 to continue this journey we are on, and I am so grateful for each and every one who has either visited my website, attended some training or commissioned my services to come into your organisation to work alongside you. Wishing everyone a happy and restful festive period - see you in 2026!

As we enter the “summer” period I look forward to my annual time to consolidate, to consider what has worked well, what could be better - a time to consider themes and patterns to become more effective. And plan for 2025.  The “housekeeping” that often gets neglected due to other priorities - the feeling is one of relief and offers new focus - so give yourselves some protected time, arrange meetings “with yourself” and plan hour by hour over a series of days to complete your to-do list, visit the things on the list that just seem to get lower down as new tasks arise. Have a wonderful summer - “for every minute spent organising, an hour is earned” (Benjamin Franklin)I often think about whether we can move on, and make changes to our lives in a work or personal setting without giving some respect to the past, to the “before” that has shaped us.  We need to understand the influence, and the power it had and will continue to have over us should we not lay it to rest, accept it, and be at peace with it.

There is always an emotional impact to change, change is inevitable, and the transition and making the change work requires letting go - it’s only then we will be ready to embrace the new. Do this carefully, don't overwhelm yourself with the change process, what it is you will lose, and work through it daily…

Are you aware of your own thresholds? What provokes your own anxiety? We talk about children and foster carers having triggers for their heightened behaviours, but sometimes we need to be self aware and give ourselves a big hug. We need to give ourselves a little space to work out what’s going on, and pause - take a moment to question your thought patterns, challenge those fears, and consider how you can regain control, be a little kinder to yourself and ask “are my thoughts rational?” What would I tell my 13 year old self?

Do you value the importance of learning exchange opportunities? Next time you have a team meeting, someone bring a case study - something that is leaving you unsure of what to do next. All ask one question, but refrain from jumping in and providing the answers - take the most challenging question -  the one you really have no idea how to answer - that’s the one to now explore together and breakdown into a helpful reflective discussion.